great date

Fabulous Date Ideas

spontaneously make an omelet

go surfing

go to youth group

host a bowling tournament -- guys vs. girls

ice skating

join a knitting brigade

play "pick a random car and follow them around town without letting them see you"

read a classic book and argue about it

build something -- like a birdhouse or a bookshelf

do a craft -- like a fuzzy poster (you know, the black ones you get at Walmart)

go to a rock show and dance

hunt for agates

play charades

play "film critics" -- go to a movie, and chill with some Starbucks (or Java Hut) afterwards to discus the cinnematography

do karaoke (hey, singing is the best!)

watch a sunset

draw a picture

go to a toystore, pick a toy, and play with it (legos and lincoln logs are the best!)

go to a clothing store

go clothes shopping together if you dare! (if you can be wacky, its fun, but look out for compulsive buying!)

pick a random project for the day and "kidnap" your date, not telling them what's going on

drive to another town and have lunch

have a footrace

fly a kite

try on funny hats

buy a camera and take random artsy pictures

Top Ten Dates

Friends first...

Ross and I had a long, intimate and painful friendship for two years. I say painful because that whole time that we were best friends, good buddies, and casual companions, we had feelings for each other. At times it was downright excruciating. But finally, after two years, we simultaneously snapped. I couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't stand it anymore.

We kissed, and realized that we had opened a can of worms. Now we'd have to do the whole "relationship" thing. Blast. I was not too thrilled about dealing with the "new issues" that might arise, like physical boundaries, relationship goals, and commitment. But really, these issues weren't new. As friends, many of these limits had already been set.

We both had pretty strong opinions about most things. Sex was one of them.

Sex was never a question: it was always a no. Our relationship has always been brutally honest. One of the first things Ross and I learned about each other when we first met was that we both had pretty strong opinions about most things. Sex was one of them. That didn't change when we started dating, though practically there were some new dimensions to abstinence.

We avoided dark deeds in dark corners. We kept an element of goofiness in our relationship to ease tension. Our "dates" would be physically tiring: a hike in the mountains, a game of tag at kidtown, and swimming. Nothing cools you off like exhaustion. We got to know each other's families. We spent even more time talking after we started "dating" than we had before.

Perhaps because we've always talked so much, we never really had to worry about our boundaries or goals. Even before we got romantic, we knew that our goal in our friendship was to place the other person first and do what was right. Now that we're dating, our goal is still to do what is right, and to keep our relationship healthy. Talking helps a lot. As far as commitment goes, I admit I am a jealous sort of person. Ross is too, I daresay. So, we try not to give each other anything to be jealous about. I always try to be aware of the effect of my actions on Ross.

Since we are so close, and since we are romantically involved, there are lots of little commitments that need to be honored. For example: we're committed to keeping friendship as the basis for our relationship. If I'm mad, I tell him. If he's struggling with something, he tells me. If I mess up, he helps me straighten up. We want to make life better for each other. Whatever happens, we want our relationship to have had good results. So, our commitment is always to love each other with the kind of love that gives instead of takes. We give each other our time, friendship, intimacy, energy, and thoughts, and always look for more. That's what keeps us going.

There's always more to give.

- Jeanne Joe is 18 years old and goes to Kings College in New York.