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Barb & Rick's Story
When Barb and Rick started moving toward marriage, Barb confessed to Rick she was not a virgin. Barb never thought her sexual activity would affect anyone but herself and her consenting partners.
Then Barb became a Christian and learned God designed sex for marriage. She determined to "renew" her virginity and wait until marriage to have sex again.
Barb and Rick were both 27 years old when they met and, unbelievably to Barb, Rick had remained a virgin. While disappointed that Barb had not, Rick was pleased with the direction Barb had taken when choosing to remain abstinent until marriage. He told Barb, "I'm more interested in your 'direction,' than your 'perfection.'"
To set her mind at ease and put her sexual past behind her so she could move on with Rick, Barb had herself tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Her tests came back HIV positive.
White, middle-class, heterosexual female, Barb was in a "low-risk" class. But she had apparently contracted the HIV virus from her first sexual encounter years earlier since her T-cell count was so low. Since then, Barb had been with five other men, unknowingly exposing them to the HIV virus. Rick was uninfected because he had remained abstinent.
The doctor gave Barb two weeks to one year to live.
When Barb tearfully told Rick the news, Rick said, "I have committed in my heart to marrying you, and I will not go back on that commitment." Counsel from pastors and doctors confirmed they could marry despite Barb's HIV status, although they would live with sexual restrictions.
So they set about planning their wedding and Barb's funeral simultaneously. They had one single desire: they wanted both to showcase their faith in Jesus Christ and gratefulness to God for His love and forgiveness.
In the fall of 2003, Rick and Barb Wise celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary!
Barb now says, "My lack of education on the consequences of sex outside of marriage led me down a bad path. Sex is more than recreation, like riding a jet ski at the beach. Our sexual choices impact us internally and externally, affecting us physically, intellectually, emotionally, socially, spiritually, and even financially.
"I have encountered all these consequences. To keep the HIV virus at bay and prolong my life, I take numerous drugs that sometimes make me sick and have other unknown side effects. Overwhelmed with worry and despair, I had to tell Rick, my family, and a few close friends this devastating news. For years I did not make close social connections to protect my secret, my job, and my health insurance.
"Rick and I live with sexual restrictions and we will not have children because our child could contract HIV/AIDS and we do not know how the drugs I've taken might affect a child.
"The drugs, doctor's appointments, and limited health insurance will always affect our finances."
Barb and Rick now speak to urge youth to remain abstinent until marriage.
- You can visit Barb and Rick at www.wise-choices.org for more information.
- Or you can contact them directly wiserickbarb @ aol.com
- For more information about the author of Rick & Barb's book, visit www.DianneEButts.com.
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